


Long Way Round

by veridical



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Alcohol, Banter, Drunken Flirting, Gen, Intoxication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 20:52:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4494330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veridical/pseuds/veridical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heatwave definitely didn't sign up for this.</p><p>(Gennish flirting, but I decided to be honest with myself.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Way Round

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mincedsandwich](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mincedsandwich).



> A commission for [minced](http://mincedsandwich.tumblr.com/), inspired by some of her headcanons. Thank you for commissioning me and for your very helpful criticisms on the earlier draft of this thing!
> 
> I take commissions [here](http://asveri.tumblr.com/post/117635205932/fic-commissions).

Kade didn't mind parties. Not at all. He didn't _like_  them, but hell, free food and drinks, who could protest?

It was not every day Griffin Rock was appointed the best scientific community in the _country_ , as well.

It was kinda weird, though, when his entire family sans Cody was here. And when he said the entire family, it really was. All of them. Including certain metal, ahem, “family members”.

There seemed to be no reason for bots to be here, except that they were the Burns' main method of transportation, and also Blades insisting they "have to come face to face with this important facet of human lives" (he meant, of course, parties). Upon which Chase reminded him that this important facet was one of the main reason humans died every year (he didn't mean parties, as it were), and Blades didn't want to go anymore, except now it occurred to Chase that someone should be there in case one of them got hurt, and also to transport them home. All through that Dad looked increasingly more interested in the source of Chase's knowledge of what usually went on at parties. Thankfully, at that point the Mayor called and said that the bots were, of course, required there, as they were still the best tech on the island - and thus, the best tech of the country, considering the award they were all celebrating.

And it was goddamn weird with them here. Their partners were just… standing there, as if on display, as if in a few dozen years they could fit right into one of the Natural History Museum’s exhibits - and that felt _wrong_ , and Kade didn’t feel like thinking about it any more. More important was that they were standing there, without moving an inch - they couldn’t, of course, not with all those eyes on them, - and the citizens had no idea, but Kade could _feel_ the bots watching. And judging. Could _hear_ that voice sighing in exasperation (how could metal robots even sound that frustrated?), could imagine that expression that meant “if it wasn’t for Optimus, I’d be on my way off this island”, and “I’m pretty sure this was not meant to be part of this mission”, and a thousand other grumpy things Kade could recite off his head, and the most irritating thing was that when he turned his head to take a quick look, Heatwave was _not_ saying anything, or doing anything with his face. He was looking straight ahead in his perfect robot impersonation, and it was really, really not helping Kade enjoy the party. Or the things the party had to offer.

And it seemed like some of the citizens agreed with him, considering the unnerved glances they sometimes threw bots’ way, but then there was another Chianti Classico opened at their table-for-four (or more like, three-and-a-quitter), and another Brunello, and giant metal beings seemed to pass from everyone’s mind.

"Mmaybe you shouldn't have any more," Dad said, his own face sporting an amazing shade of red.

"I'm fine!" Kade protested. "I have, uh, that thing, that. Stamina! You know, unlike some," he declared.

"I'm just not a fan," Graham explained patiently.

"But it's sooooo nice," Dani slurred happily. "I'm sure if you just tried--"

"Um, nope, thank you," his brother repeated, resolutely.

"Stop teasing him, kids," Dad said. He was probably aiming for a stern voice. Well. He was trying. Kade couldn’t blame him.

"Iiiii bet you'd just fall asleep!" the fire fighter exclaimed.

"And I agree with you one hundred percent,” Graham nodded. 

He sighed, "If I can leave you alone for one second, I'll go check on the bots. Just in case they forget the public eye is on them.”

Kade stared at his retreating back. "I bet it's just an excuse."

"Oh, it's definitely an excuse. They are behaving perfectly tonight, not to mention that I reeeeaaaally don’t think anybody’s watching them anymore, at this point. I kinda feel sorry for Graham,” his sister sighed. "He didn't really sign up for babysitting tonight."

"I don't need babysitting!" Kade protested.

Dani smirked, and he realised he just took the bait. "Yeah, you just needed someone to tell you that adding more wine when you already have _a different sort in your giant glass_  is a bad idea."

"I didn't..!" he sputtered. "I thought it was the same one! I _know my wines_!"

"Whatever," Dani saluted him with her own glass. Usually, she would prefer beers, but there were none to be had at the party the Mayor threw. Because Mayor’s parties were _fancy_. Kade didn't really know what _she_ mixed up there (probably out of spite), and didn't really want to find out, either.

Besides, his head felt quite heavy all of a sudden. That was weird. Just half an hour ago he was glad to mingle among the townsfolk and a few representatives from the mainland, obviously enamoured by his charm, and now - well, whatever. He didn't have to be out there constantly to be the star of the party. Also, if he just closed his eyes for a second... and put his head down…

"C'mon, hotshot, time to go home," someone called out of nowhere. Kade jerked his head up.

"Uh-- what? What?" he tried to open his bleary eyes, blinked a couple times and finally succeeded.

"I'm right here," the voice said, sounding amused.

Kade looked around. Graham was nowhere to be seen. Dad was engaged in some fervent discussion with Doc Greene - at least, it was fervent on Dad’s part. Doc just looked like he would much rather put his head down on the table, if the bed was not an option. Kade snorted. He couldn't see Dani anywhere, but he thought he remembered - unclearly, as if from a dream, - the way Blades hovered around her, clearly worried, a while ago. Just how long had he been sleeping? How many times had he awoken only to fall asleep again?

And did bots actually blow their cover in front of the others, because--

The realisation finally dawned on him and he turned to find Heatwave studying him with some expression that could mean a few different things, and all of them were _annoying_.

"Are you smirking?" Kade asked, frowning. "Stop."

"I'm not doing anything. You, however, are sleeping in the Mayor's backyard." Oh, he was definitely smirking.

"And? Tell me you wouldn't do the same?" He glanced around a bit more and found out that his head didn't really like that. Ouch. But it actually seemed that most of the people already left, and those that remained either passed out, or were in on the secret.

Heatwave looked like he was trying very hard not to groan. "Is this supposed to make sense? Let's go, before all of these wake up.”

For some reason, every time the bot said variations of that phrase, Kade grew ever more determined to stay. Or, more like, to tell Heatwave to stick his advices up his... whatever.

"No, why," he protested. "Why should I go?" he tried again. It didn't come out the way he meant it to: calm and sure. Which was how he felt, really. Heatwave shall see.

"This thing is clearly pretty much over," the bot was clearly losing his patience, and Kade grinned involuntarily.

"Don't you see how fun this is?"

They both surveyed the scene. Citizens with a variety of hilarious facial expressions were scattered around the tables... on the tables... on the grass, as well. Kade winced. It must be _wet_. See! He still had some dignity left. No, wait, he had all of his dignity left, and why did his inner voice sound like it was explaining itself to Heatwave--

"Yes, chatting up old snobby women, so exciting," his bot muttered.

"Hey!" Kade exclaimed and stood up. Well, he tried - the moment he regained vertical position, he wobbled, but instead of flailing his arms around, he closed his eyes, accepted his fate and prepared to fall. Because dignity, duh.

What he got was warm metal under his back.

"This is precisely why we should be going," Heatwave commented. 

It felt so unexpectedly nice that he just had to lean back a little. There was little reason to open his eyes, as well. He could definitely stay here for a while... 

“Uh-uh, you’re not falling asleep _here_ , cowboy,” the bot chided. The metal hand shook a little and Kade frowned.

“Stop doing that. Thisssisssnice.”

“I’m not your personal bed," Heatwave grumbled. 

"And yet!" Kade proclaimed and nearly fell down. His partner steadied him, but jerked his hand away afterwards.

Kade turned around very slowly so as not to fall again, and glanced up at Heatwave. All stern and strict - he should have looked menacing, but instead looked absolutely hilarious. A giant disapproving robot.

Kade wanted to laugh, but it came out as a sort of a garbled sound.

"Your... face," Heatwave said. His voice sounded weird. Weird weird. Kade tried to recall the last time Heatwave sounded like this. "It's red."

"Hey!" Kade protested. "You're red."

Heatwave did something that looked very much like an eye-roll. But he didn't have eyes.

"I'm just stating a fact," his partner grumbled. Then, as if unable to help himself, "Does this always happen?"

"What?" Kade asked. He was currently very interested in the way the party lights reflected on the shiny red plating. Very red. Very shiny. Wait. "You shouldn't have to buff alone," he exclaimed.

"What," the bot replied, clearly taken aback.

Kade reached a hand and laid his palm on the plating which was, indeed, very smooth. "You buffed before the party," he said accusingly. "Alone."

Heatwave seemed at a loss for words. It was a funny look for him.

"No, I... Boulder helped me," he finally said.

Oh, this would not do at all.

"Well, you should have asked me!"

Heatwave gave him a confused look. "Erm. Why?"

"'Cause I'm your partner!" Seriously, how dumb did he have to be?

Well, for one thing, Heatwave wasn't looking at him anymore. Kade stroked the plating with his hand - it was way smoother than it had any right to be, - until suddenly the bot transformed right under his nose, and Kade nearly fell over.

"Hey!" he protested. "I'm right here!"

The door would've smacked him upon opening, as well, if it wasn't so high up.

"Go to the passenger seat," Heatwave instructed. His voice still sounded weird. "Or better yet, get to the back ones--"

"Too late!" Kade exclaimed and climbed to his usual place with considerable grace. Heatwave should be impressed.

"Oh no. You're not going anywhere in the driver seat, hotshot. Get out."

"Nope," Kade replied, grabbed the steering wheel and waited for a disapproving face to show up on the inner screen. It didn't - instead, Heatwave started talking.

"Does alcohol always make you so--"

"So what?" Kade asked, squinting. He tried, anyway. His eyes seemed to like being closed, though. Stupid eyes. Stupid Heatwave.

The robot made his trademark "I am annoyed" sound. "So _slagheaded_."

Kade barked a laugh. "What?" The thing where Heatwave - and others, for that matter, - picked rough English equivalents for Cybertronian words (or whatever they had on their weirdass planet) and _failed_ , always amused him to no end.

But he didn't want Heatwave to get more annoyed - Kade knew his partner's limits, not that he minded them often, - so he relaxed his grip on the steering wheel and rubbed it a bit, wishing to placate the bot.

When Heatwave spoke again, it sounded milder - almost gentle.

"Come on. You're going to have to move."

"No," Kade repeated. Dammit, why was it taking Heatwave such a long time to get it? "This is my place."

Now Heatwave showed up on the inner screen. He didn't look particularly annoyed, and Kade knocked his fingers on the glass a few times to make sure it wasn't malfunctioning.

"Not when you're in this state. C'mon," the fire truck repeated and opened both of the front doors. "I'll even let you roll down the window."

Kade eyed the doors thoughtfully, then snorted and climbed over to the passenger's seat without getting out.

Heatwave emitted some undignified sound, which may have been the whole point of it. May have.

"Okay, where to next?"

Heatwave on the inner display looked like he was doing his best to eye Kade's legs on the deck, but stayed mercifully silent.

"What, you got some ideas?" The doors closed softly. Kade kinda wished he could close them like that.

"Mmmm. A couple. Maybe more. We could go the mainland, you know."

" _You know_ there's only one place you're going smashed like this," Heatwave replied, rolling out onto the quiet street.

"I don't mean tonight. I mean, like. Later." He leaned back, closing his eyes, and could swear he felt the back of the seat under him recline a bit. It was warm - a bit too warm, but the bot kept his promise and opened a window, and Kade relished the rush of cold night air on his face.

The machine wasn't answering, and Kade cracked one eye open to catch the face on the inner screen studying him before it faded to black.

"Heatwave?" he called out and, after a second's thought, lowered his legs on the floor.

"Yes," came the reply. Kade didn't know which question the bot was answering. "You forgot to do your belt."

"I didn't _forget,_ " he sputtered. He did not forget! He just... he thought-- no, he didn't think--

"Pshh, yeah." In the next moment Kade felt the belt extending by itself, followed by a click.

Most surprising of all was that it felt kind of... safer like this, even comfier. Definitely safer. Even if it felt weird to sit in the passenger's place, the cabin was the same as it ever was, familiar and... welcoming, yes, especially now with a belt around him. Kade would've usually tried to quench this sort of thoughts, but now they roamed freely in his mind, and it felt nice - free and careless. He wasn't on duty, nor was Heatwave, and as much as he relished being a rescue worker, there was something undeniably enticing about just— driving, somewhere, just the two of them. He didn't much care where they went, even.

Heatwave didn't seem as relaxed, though. Kade wouldn't be able to explain where this feeling came from, but he was sure of it. He tried to reach the deck with his hand to maybe pat it or something but failed. The seat was reclined too far and the belt kept him in his place.

"Stop trying to escape," Heatwave snorted.

"I'm not!" This was so far from what Kade was feeling like that he sputtered for a moment. "Why would I want to escape? I like it here."

"...Right," Heatwave said. "You do."

Kade frowned. "Why are you being so stu... so stubborn today?"

Heatwave laughed, the sound almost startling. "Why are _you_?"

Damn. "Okay, touché."

Heatwave snorted, but his general presence felt a little more calm. So Kade counted it as a success. He lowered his head back to the seat and closed his eyes, melting into it a little. This felt even nicer than a metal hand - he wouldn't mind staying like... for a little while...

"You're not falling asleep here either," Heatwave said after some time had passed.

"What, you're getting lonely?" he muttered without opening his eyes. Typical.

The bot grunted. "I just have no desire to be the one to wake you up later.”

Kade had no idea why this seemed like such a difficult task to Heatwave - he could, after all, just sound his horn loudly, something no outside force could usually deter him from doing. But he imagined the bot honking his horn in a futile attempt to wake him up - unlike his usual light sleep, booze made Kade practically dead to the world, - and snickered. He would be so annoyed, with that disgruntled expression on his face. So perfectly irritated.

"What?" the bot snapped.

"You're funny," Kade told him earnestly.

Heatwave muttered something inaudible. He decided not to ask; there was something almost endearing about his partner doing this. Not usually, just... right now.

Suddenly the fire fighter was struck by an amazing idea.

"Do you have booze?" Kade asked.

"Do we have what?" Heatwave asked incredulously.

"You know, the... the stuff! Helps you relax, clears your head, makes you all... buzzy..."

"If you're talking about the stuff you've collectively decided to take in today--"

"Except Graham!" Kade reminded. "He's the odd one out."

"Except the only sensible one," Heatwave amended. "I definitely wouldn't say your head has cleared."

"You," Kade pointed a finger at the screen, "are avoiding the question. Do Cybertronians have it?"

"We... well, there's a certain type of energon, and you'd have to disable your FIM chip, and I'm pretty sure the actual mechanism is different--"

Ohhh no, he was not going to mutter his way out of this one. "Heatwave!"

Kade felt a rush of cold air out of the dashboard vents and shivered.

“ _Fine_. Yes. Yes, we can get _drunk_.”

"Nice!" he pumped his hand in the air triumphantly and leaned back in the seat a little. “Weee should do it then.”

“Do what?”

“That! Get drunk! You, me, a nice night out. No, that way we won’t can… won’t be… No. A nice night in, then!” Kade bumped the deck with his fist. “It’ll be awesome.”

Heatwave snorted. "Yeah, right."

Kade crossed his arms over his chest. Heatwave was not taking him seriously. _Again_. 

Also, these sounds were weird. Almost like-- water? He glanced out of the window and saw the docks. It made no sense - they were not supposed to pass them on the way home. Why was Heatwave taking this route?

The inner screen was dark again, and it was quiet - unusually quiet. Unusual for them. Kade loosened the belt's grip a bit and put the seat up. He still wanted to sleep, but it seemed... important not to waste this moment.

Heatwave might have commented on it, but he was staying silent. Almost as if he sensed it too. He must have known Kade had noticed that they were on the shore. But whatever the bot thought - for whatever reason he did this, - Kade wasn't going to ask. He may assume, but... he didn't want to ask. Maybe it was just— accidental. Maybe there was a road construction that Kade didn’t know about. Maybe Heatwave just… liked the ocean, for whatever reason.

Kade’s hands itched. He longed to put them on the steering wheel. Not that he even did it that often-- that is, it wasn't really necessary, except for the sake of gullible citizens. He did it anyway. First - a lifetime ago, - to pretend that he was in control here. Then, just because... just because.

His hand reached out - he was helpless to do anything and didn't think much, - and his fingers ghosted around the gearbox, never quite touching it. It was light, accidental, it didn't mean anything.

"Don't touch that," Heatwave quickly warned.

"I'm not touching 'nything."

"Yeah, good try."

Kade dropped his hand on the seat by the manual. Heatwave was being... _slagheaded_ , - business as usual, then. Nothing special.

But he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to like it. When did the night slip into this uncertainty? “If you don't want me touching you, just say so,” he muttered.

Heatwave was silent for a long time. "No, I don't mind," he finally said.

"Good," Kade smiled. "Neither," he yawned, "me neither."

They were still rolling by the water, the waves crushing heavily against the docks.

"Go to sleep," Heatwave said, sounding weird again.

“But we’d already established that you’ll miss me if I do that,” Kade teased.

The fire machine pshawed, and he imagined Heatwave shaking his head in frustration that was so obviously false and so familiar.

“Also, I know for a fact that liquor only adds to my considerable charm,” he continued. “You _really_ should try it. God knows you need it.”

“If only it could help me forget your _considerable charm_ , the way you forget how intolerable you are in your usual state,” Heatwave grumbled, and Kade grinned. Right. It was right.

“You know there’s only one way to find out.”

“Yeah, such a good idea to bring out the,” the bot honest-to-god _coughed_ , “best in us.”

“Well, I, for one, would really _love_ to finally meet the best in you. It must be awesome, since you keep it hidden so well.”

“I can’t help but notice that the alcohol didn’t help _you_.”

Kade chuckled and mumbled, “You don’t really need any help though.”

“What was that?”

“I said, you’re alright.” the fire fighter patted the deck, which he now could reach easily.

It was warm, just a little. 

“I. Yes, okay,” Heatwave replied slowly. “Huh. Must be really powerful stuff.”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” Kade chided with a yawn. “You must try it.”

Heatwave took his time. Must have been untangling the expression. “Yeah, right. We’ll see if you’ll remember any of it in the morning.”

“Hah! Well, I have you to remind me in any case.”

“You do,” the bot replied absentmindedly, as if lost in thought.

Kade smiled and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

>  _And I elongated my lift home_  
>  _Yeah I let him go the long way round_  
>  \- Arctic Monkeys, _Cornerstone_


End file.
